I’ve never had many aspirations in life other than to be clever. We all measure our lives, abilities and achievements differently and me saying I’d like to be clever may sound a little silly to some BUT perhaps I measure my cleverness or lack of it against my father’s cleverness. He was an incredible man and I regret not knowing him better, I digress already.
Definition of Aspirations: a hope or ambition of achieving something
Why have I never had any or many ‘aspirations’ …… fear of failure? Probably
…… fear of looking a fool if I don’t ‘achieve’? Probably
……fear of being embarrassed at not being able to ‘succeed’? Probably
Is there a trigger for change
As the years roll by on my ever fruitless life I have gradually listened to myself telling me ‘it doesn’t matter what other people think you should or shouldn’t do, what you should and shouldn’t say or how you should or shouldn’t be and look’.
I’ve lived a haphazard life for many years thinking I must be all things to all people, running around making everyone else happy whilst wallowing in silent self pity (to be honest NOT always silent!). That changed towards the middle of last year 2015 BUT I think perhaps the seed was planted back in 2013.
In 2013 all my faults, failures and ‘achievements’ were publicly displayed on national and international television for all to see (BUT that’s another story) BUT I think that may well have been the catalyst to my changing outlook.
Whilst filming, a comment was made about me (they thought they were being discrete and it wasn’t said in a malicious way). I can’t quiet remember it word for word but it was something like …..
‘I can’t cope with her, one minute she’s as broad as anything the next….’ (didn’t hear any more). They were referring to my accent. Apparently, I am a people chameleon (not my label) My manner of speech differs depending on the people I am with and wanting to ‘fit in’ with the ‘posh’ folk that were all around me I ‘poshed up’ my voice. BUT if it ain’t you it ain’t you and you won’t be able to keep it up for long and that was plainly evident by the comment.
I wasn’t ticked off by the comment, it was fair, I was ticked off and embarrassed with myself for trying to be someone I wasn’t. I thought I was trying to fit in BUT instead I just made a ti* of myself. (yes I swear a lot BUT that’s me!)
I always found this statement ‘I’m going off to find myself’ a little .. well… pathetic really, BUT as I’ve got older and started to reflect on what I have done with my life I feel I understand ‘finding myself’ more.
I can’t be me because I don’t know who me is. I lost me somewhere whist I was trying to fit in and to be someone other people wanted me to be and what I thought people would like (me not being a person I even liked).
Which after a page of babbling brings me back to cycling! Bet you wondered where the bike had gone to!!
One day I downed tools, left the piles of work, ignored the phone and people wanting and got on my bike because …
….it was something ‘I’ wanted to do ….
It didn’t make me any money, it didn’t make me popular, it didn’t make me fit in BUT it did make me bloody knackered, breathless, cough, snot, give me screaming lungs and ask myself what the hell I thought I was doing!
Blinking nora, I got back from my 10 mile cycle ride thinking I was going to die BUT feeling fulfilled and prouder of myself than I had been in a very long time.
I could have looked at it in a negative way, ONLY 10 miles, which deep down that negative side of me was trying to surface BUT I supressed that negativity and gave myself a pat on the back, telling me ‘that is the first 10 miles of many’!
Cycling one mile is one more than none … achievement, success, ambition: Aspiration
I have taken a lot of inspiration from our GB Olympians this year, they are a wonder to behold but there are two people, women, who have inspired me the most.
Kajsa Tylen, though not an Olympian surely has the Olympic spirit and determination running through her veins. On 1st January 2016 Kajsa began her epic challenge of gaining the World Guinness record for riding the most miles in a year by a woman, attempting to beat the long standing record of Billie Flemings 29,603 miles.
Riding your bike EVERY day for a whole YEAR! How do you even begin to quantify such a feat?
The elements, wind, rain, snow, sun, you still have to get on your bike and ride.
Illness, no matter how ill you feel, how physically sick you are you still have to get on your bike.
Women’s things, whether you have your period or not you still have to get on your bike.
The list goes on …
If you need inspiring just take a look at Kajsa Tylen – A year in the Saddle
The woman is a machine, focused, determined, strong minded and one of the funniest people I have ever met.
Through posting my blog I met Cath Rodkoff a friend of Kajsa who invited me to join a 25 mile cycle ride with Kajsa from Leisure Lakes Bikes in Nottingham in April. I tripped off down there with a couple of friends and had a blast.
The moment you meet Kajsa you are draw by her unassuming manner. A slight, gently spoken woman with a soft smiling face. Spend a few minutes in her presence and you will be howling with laughter, the woman is hilarious! Quick as a flash her dry wit will have you in stitches.
There were a lot of people there all wanting to speak with Kajsa and ride with her and she gave time to all of us and always gave thanks for the support she was being given. Not only has she got on her bike every day and ridden on average over 100 miles a day, she has given time to others and promoted cycling and women in cycling.
Take a look at Kajsa’s video blogs. Even when she is having a bad day, a really bad day, there is still a lot of humour in her words and her facial expressions are priceless.
I was lucky enough to join Kajsa, Cath and a group of cyclist last Sunday 11th December to celebrate Kajsa gaining the World Guinness record and surpassing the 50,000km mark and she still has until 31st December in which to clock up even more miles!
At the end of the ride we did a circuit of the cycle track at Harvey Hadden Sports Centre and I rode with Kajsa for some of it. As she spoke with us, almost a year on from the start of her epic challenge, she STILL had that wicked sense of humour and motivation as she cheered everyone else on to the finish line.
I can’t put into words how much Kajsa has inspired me, not just in cycling but in my whole out look. I’ve read a few interviews Kajsa has given and she has a way of being so unassuming in them but the positive impact her words have on me give me another boost to carry on improving myself.
I’m rubbish at explaining things, as you can see from all this blurb so just go and see and listen to Kajsa for yourself and I am sure you will come away more positive then you were before.
….. give it a go, give anything a go, it doesn’t matter if you succeed your own expectations or not as long as you try ….
Second inspirational person tomorrow ..
Thank you for taking the time to read my blurb, now go and do something productive!!!
Cycle safe and where your helmet!