With only 87 days before my ‘240 mile challenge’ for Melanoma UK, starting with Tour de Yorkshire Sportive on 30th April, I have to admit that I am kacking it! (Yorkshire term meaning pooing it!) (other dialects .. bricking it, shiting it …) you get my drift.

I know I have a body that is falling apart due to years of self neglect and abuse BUT that is something I just get on with. I know it’s that old saying ‘after the horse has bolted’ thing BUT I ask advice on how to limit pain and further injuries from the powers that be BUT sometimes the powers that be can leave you a little deflated and it’s an innocent chat with a friend who actually gives you more info than the ‘pros’.

Rant Time – I need cleansing
Try a foam roller, advice from Ginner, cycling friend. I asked physio if ok to do … oh ye they’re good. Why didn’t he mention this before? He was quick enough to tell me to go out and buy some insoles as it would be quicker than waiting for a referral to get some on NHS. £20.00 he said, try £38.00

It kills just here, I say to Jane .. me pointing to .. I think she said it was called Tensor Fasciate Latae (she will soon correct me if this is wrong), if it’s injured it can have an effect on your calves, says Jane. I mentioned this to the physio today, he replied, ‘look, you have aches and pains all over, we can’t look at everything. Every time you come you have another complaint’.

I thought the idea of getting to the ‘bottom of things’ was to look at you as a whole?, my mistake (I didn’t say this to him).

… you know when you just want to say a polite, thank you sorry I’ve wasted your time, and leave ….. either that or twat them right between the eyes (that’s Yorkshire for TWAT!!!!!)

Concentrate on the good bits
I’ll give you a brief rundown of the MRI & X-ray reports. Not because I want sympathy (hey I abused it, my fault if I lose it) BUT because I’m f**king well hacked off today, well hacked off!!!

Back MRI
L2/3 and L3/4 levels show mild/moderate bilateral degenerative facet joint disease
L4/5 show severe bilateral degenerative facet joint and ligamentum flavum hypertrophy and a very small broad-based disc bulge
In combination both processes are causing minor spinal canal narrowing
L5/S1 shows moderate bilateral degenerative facet joint disease and a small broad-based disc bulge

Knee X-ray
Left: mild/moderate degenerative changes with osteophytic lipping and narrowing to the lateral tibiofemoral and patellofemoral joint spaces
Right: mild degenerative changes with osteophytic lipping and narrowing to the lateral tibiofemoral and patellofemoral joint spaces

…not moaning about any of this. It’s something I’m used to. Like millions of other people every day of their lives, you just crack on with it (hoping it doesn’t actually crack otherwise you are pooped).

Doctor’s verdict, you got arthritic knees and back, here’s a pill. (it was my calves that were causing most of the pain)
Physio’s verdict, you got arthritic knees and back, there’s nothing much we can do. (it was my calves causing most of the pain).

To Physio or NOT to Physio
First visit to physio he instructed me to take shoes and socks off. He didn’t tell me to walk about or anything he just looked at my feet square infront of him and said, ‘you’re flat footed, your arches have dropped, you need to get some insoles and that will sort your calves out’. Goodbye.

I pushed and asked what are the best exercises to strengthen back, knees and is there anything I can be doing in meantime to help with the calf pain.

He gave me 3 exercises 3 times a day which I have been doing for the past 4 months.
Lumbar Stretch
Hamstring stretch
Seated Leg Extension

A few appointments later he would give me 3 core exercises to do after I ask for them.
That’s it, that’s the physio. And to cap it all, his comment last Tuesday … ‘well those exercises won’t really do anything for your calves’ GIVE ME F’ING strength!!

After the initially wearing of the insoles, for a couple of weeks the calves didn’t feel as tight or painful BUT then they started to get worse again.

Bear in mind that, including today, I have had 7 appointments with him and other than today he has only massaged my calves once for 5 mins and that was because I kept going on about massage. He had on a earlier appointment said that I ‘could do with massage on them as it would really help but we don’t really do that kind of thing here’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE F**K!!!!!!! ARE YOU NOT A PHYSIO!!!! And forgive me if I am wrong but isn’t that part of being a physio, massage? (someone I hope will tell me I’m wrong and I can apologise to the physio, not that I said this to him, that would be very wrong)

You can tell I am pissed today!

Maybe it was my suspicious mind BUT as he started speaking again I jumped in saying, if it costs money I haven’t got any. I believe he was going to offer his services as a private patient. (again, forgive me if I’m wrong). He didn’t say anymore about massage after that. I feel bad about moaning about him, hey it’s free NHS so I should be grateful, I am BUT.

He told me today that I have been having physio since September (that was the first appointment when he told me to get insoles, I then had to save up for weeks to get them) and things are not getting any better and there is nothing else he can think of to do. TO DO?!?! TO BLOODY WELL DO!!!! You have done sweet FA! For four months I have done 3 exercises for legs and 3 core exercises for 1 month (with me again pushing him for his recommendations of the best core exercises that I can do to help myself, it was not he GIVING the information).

Each appointment consisted of me sitting there and him telling me there was nothing much to be done. ‘You’ve got arthritic back and knees, can’t change that’.
LISTEN TO ME!!! MY CALVES ARE F**KING KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel a fraud. I’m so F**king frustrated I can’t get the words out!!!………………

Sometime later ……………………….
… and breath. Rant was this morning, 10 hours later …
Still cross BUT leave it. My plan of attack?

1. Anatomy of Cycling by Jennifer Laurita will be my right hand trainer
2. British Cycling & GCN websites for ‘how to’
3. Draw up cycling timetable
4. Draw up exercise timetable eg, stretching, core strength, foam roller
5. Cycling groups to train with and get advice
6. Cycling friends for advice and training rides (hopefully)
7. .. I’m sure there are a lot more to add to list BUT that will do for now

On a brighter note
Had a lovely ride out with Kirklees Riders Cycling who posted ride on British Cycling Let’s Ride website.
We had a little jaunt to Sowerby Bridge from Leggers Inn in Dewsbury. A nice steady pedal with a lunch stop in Sower Bridge and then a nice wonder back. Just perfect as I hadn’t been on the bike for 10 days.

Strava Ride 01/02/17; 88 Days to ‘240 for Brookie’

We got 35 miles in so the length of my rides are slowing growing. The route was flat, about 700ft of climbing. I forgot to turn my strava off at our lunch stop at Wetherspoon’s so some of the climbing feet were because I went to the toilet ‘twice’ which was upstairs. Hey it all counts! I still went UP!

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Food at Wetherspoon’s was well priced, tasty and the staff were very friendly, helpful and didn’t mind that we were caked in mud. Would recommend a lunch stop here.

Kirklees Riders are a lovely group of people. We had a great laugh BUT if that Melvin honks that horn once more he’s in that canal!! Either that or I’m going to nick his honk! Good laugh!

Thank you for letting me have a cleansing session, boy did I need it. Sorry for all the swearing BUT it’s the true me coming out, told you before ….
Don’t make me angry … you won’t like me when I’m angry!!

Be safe, be happy
Jo x