Head Struggle Rant

Strava Ride 26/02/17: 63 Days to ‘240 miles for Brookie’

I seem to be getting worst at psyching myself out or just simply worrying about being ‘out there’.

Example, yesterday’s ride.
Seppe, Big D and Chris all wanted to ride. They wanted to meet up in Thornes Park with British Cycling Let’s Ride Group Kirklees Riders who were cycling from Legger’s Inn Dewsbury to Thornes Park Wakefield and looping back to Dewsbury. The meet was at 10.45am.

I knew I needed to do more miles and hills (as they are my friend!) than we would do on this ride so I planned in my head I would get up ‘early’, cycle to Dewsbury and then do the loop.

I didn’t tell the guys that’s what I would do because something inside me was saying … if you tell them you won’t do it!

Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around … if you announce your intentions then you are more likely to do it?!

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Toilet Issues
I know no one likes to talk about toilet issues so I will ……

I have diverticular disease and am coeliac, no dairy gluten wheat. From time to time my guts, shall we say, erupt! I’m a delicate soul!!! (NOT)

I am getting worse, every time I think about and start planning to go out on the bike my stomach churns over, I feel sick and so of course the inevitable happens …. It’s the runs time!!

Have you heard of the song ‘Getting to know You? well this is where you REALLY get to know me so look away NOW if you have a weak constitution!

I already have about 3 poo’s per morning BUT if I am going out cycling ….. blinking heck …. I average about 5!!! Note to self … stop eating so much!!!! I know of course these are nervous poo’s BUT I have to get up at 6am if I stand even half a chance of getting out of the door by 8.30am and even then I could have easily run back for another sit down!

Once I am on the bike I’m ok, well as far as the toilet issue is concerned.

Strava Ride 22/02/17: 67 Days to ‘240 for Brookie’

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It’s happening (or rather I’m letting it happen) all the time now. Even just writing this my stomach is churning over.

I went out last Wednesday with a couple of the guys from Kirklees Riders. I went to bed Tuesday night and couldn’t sleep. All night I was thinking about the route we would be cycling, would I be able to keep up, would my legs fail. After 3 hours of sleep I got up at 6am to give myself time to do my morning ritual before setting off for the ride.

Aaaargh!!! Stop bloody worrying!!!

I tell myself this all the time, stop worry, just get on your bike and do what you can. BUT then I worry, what if I get too far from home and can’t get back?

Aaaaargh!!! You fat unhealthy glutinous lump STOP shoving stuff you don’t need into your gaping gob. Get off your morbidly obese backside and start bloody well doing what you say you are going to do and bloody well get healthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

F**king waste of space

Strava Ride 19/02/17: 70 Days to ‘240 miles for Brookie’

Strava Ride 15/02/17: 74 Days to ‘240 miles for Brookie’

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On a positive note, i have been doing some cleaning. See the red wash bucket? Bargin, .79p from supermarket AND they fill it with popcorn! win win!! … and the cassett…. I always thought it was supposed to be black!

Do I apologise for the swearing? Well that’s just me, crass and under educated so unashamedly no apology today.

I do however thank you for reading this rant to myself. It is aimed at no one other than myself.

I will endeavour to repay you for your support by doing better.

Take care, smile and be happy
Jo x

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