This is not the normal type of post I write. I am generally able  find the positive in the negative, BUT I know this time I can not. I there  apologise those of  who are looking moral support, words of encouragement, positive outlook or a witty line or two, they are very much lacking in this post I’m afraid.

There is only so much pounding of the soul a body can take until the bully wins.

I know it’s not what  want  hear, it’s not what I want  write BUT I am worn out, I have no energy left.

I am only able  admit my defencelessness due  …..

This Post It Note
Elise Christie

After been given the note, I took it home and it broken me. I kept reading the words with tears welling in  eyes. An innocence Post It Note with a heart felt message had cracked open the months of locked away emotions about a job I enjoy BUT the dread I feel every time it comes around.

A friend asked:
Have you ever considered stopping doing what you love purely because of negative people?

 reply: Yes

 friends question, along with the Post It Note, kept tapping away in head. I had tried  defend myself but all it achieved was me looking like the aggressor.

How do they do it?…… Be the bully whilst playing the victim so well?

I find it hard  talk about things, especially  weaknesses. I thought by writing them down it may be one of those cathartic cleansing exercises and everything would be much easier  cope with after putting pen  paper.

I didn’t write it down, until now. There isn’t a day goes by without  thinking about it. The closer it gets  our next working together the less I sleep, the more I worry and the less I do  prepare the job.

Why prepare something that is going get pissed all over, undermined and scoffed at.

How can these people live with themselves, when they wrongly influence people’s opinion of ? People  once had a fun and jovial relationship with now find it hard  even be civil   and didn’t even question the information they were manipulated with.

Keep hold of the Post It Note

How can the bully believe this is an acceptable way  behave and conduct themselves in society?

Influencing friendships is one thing, though should not happen (people taken in by the bully and playground tittle tattle never thought question it?) BUT influencing your employer ………

A once good relationship with an employer appears no longer exsist. BUT then, as an employer would  not question the information laid at your door and investigate?

Keep hold of the Post It Note

I like  little job. Wouldn’t  when that job enables   support others in doing something  love and want  share … cycling?

I just want a quiet life, don’t we all. I want  share my love of cycling with others, encouraging and supporting them in any way I can and in doing so repaying the support I have received over the years in all cycling endeavours. If that’s all I want  do, then why would a bully want  victimise  for doing it? What do they hope  gain?

…Please go away… I only want to ride my bike and be happy…..

Elise Christie
If I had just one snippet of Elise Christie’s self belief, determination and fortitude.

woes are not even a zit on the backside of a bully compared  what this young woman has endured.

I watched Elise’s triumphs, disappointments and I watched her following interviews. What an incredibly strong woman. A woman who stood up  herself against all the trolls and bullies. A wonderful role model, not just  women BUT  EVERYONE.

Take a little time to read about Elise, Twitter She will certainly inspire  as she does .

Keep hold of the Post It Note

Hey, I’m not looking  sympathy here, I’m a grown woman and if I am not willing to stand up  myself then more fool .

Perhaps I’ve voiced the situation  make myself think and ask questions of myself… why can I fight and stand up  others BUT can’t do it  myself?
Why is it not in  to fight  what is right especially when it affects  directly?

Those of  who read  woffle ( which I am very grateful) know I hold  hands up when I’m wrong, I’m   own worst/best critic, always blaming myself before others. BUT ….Aarghhhh, BL**DY, BL**DY, F**K, F**K, Aarghhh ……….

Fecking Hell woman, do something about it or shut the F**K up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keep hold of the Post It Note

Thank You
the Post It Note writer, .  will never know the impact your note had on but I sincerely   for taking the time and consideration write it.

 are the reason I will carry on in the job.  and all the many others that gain so much from riding your bikes. I   for being part of  cycling life.

Giving people confidence  learn how  ride a bike = Reward
Seeing a person master their = Reward
people gain skills  cycle on roads = Reward
Supporting people new  cycling = Reward
Imparting  tiny knowledge & hearing how it is  = Reward
A   and, will come again, at the end of a ride = Reward

Confused
I’ve written it BUT find it confusing! Is there a message in there! What message if any am I trying  convey?

All I know is I’m livid. At myself  not addressing the situation and livid that the bully feels so threatened by  that they must go  devious and bully lengths  feel empowered…….

…..Bloody Hell…. It did help writing it down! That last bit has just came   as I summarise  woffle…..

…That’s it! … Is it?…… That they are somehow threatened by ? Hummm, I’m not sure, I don’t know how they could be? I skip along, do bit and skip home again, not much  feel threatened by!

At the start of this woffle I said this wouldn’t be a positive blog BUT I’ve managed  do it … find the positive in the negative. It really does work write down your thoughts if  can’t speak them.

The Positive
I’m good at job.
That is a very hard statement for make. I rarely give myself credit anything, I nit pick at where I could and should have done better.

I give pity the bully. I pity the lengths of scheming that must fill their day. The lies they need tell and keep telling. The lack of self worth they carry and their constant worry of being found out, they always are in the end.

I would say the bully, concentrate on improving your own abilities in all aspects of your life. Instead of undermining other people and taking credit their work put all that energy into improving your own self and skill set.

The Pen is Mightier than the Sword
A few little words on a Post It Note. WoW. How mighty they are!

I have scattered the Post It Note words throughout this blog. can see the dramatic IMPACT they carry, over shadowing the words around them, undermining the bully.

One Thank You
Where is the bully now?
Laid crushed beneath gratitude

the role models in life, I’m sorry I have let down and I’m not the ever positive person believed be.

  friends and people who read blog, I’m sorry I have let down and I’m not the ever positive person believed be.

myself, no surprise there that let yourself down. know are not the ever positive person portray others. know it’s all a front and that hate people seeing weak and vulnerable. Is this the first time have let your weaknesses be known? Well, I assure it will be the last, I am positive of that!

I’m very sorry negative woffle in this blog BUT please rest assured it will NEVER happen again.

  reading woffle

Take care and be kind one another
Jo x