Psyching Myself Out

Strava Ride 05/02/17: 84 DAYS TO ‘240 miles for Brookie’

On Sunday I needed to do something a little hillier than I have been doing, in readiness for the epic climbing to come on the Tour de Yorkshire Sportive on 30th April.

In my head, on Sunday I was either going to do the route I’ve done before, up to Emley Moor Mast and back down Denby Dale Road OR do it clockwise for a change. I can’t ever recall cycling UP Denby Dale Road so thought it was about time I did.

I do this every time …. Start psyching myself out ……

I think ‘yep, I’m going to ride that route’ which I’m ok about BUT then, as time goes by I start thinking, what if on the first hill I’m too knackered to go any further, what if I can’t get back, what if, what if, what if?????????

Then I think … oh I’ll just go do this bit instead, knowing it will be hard BUT not as hard or as far as the ride I had in my head. WHY! Why do I do this??? Plank! Sometimes I even achieve the ultimate ‘psych out’ and end up not going at all !!! Lazy arse!!

BUT I didn’t stop
At least this Sunday I went, even if in the end I did chicken out of the LONG climb.

Set off towards Denby Dale and at Branch Road, 5.3 miles in, first hill. I had been dreading this. I have driven up it 100’s of time and always wince at the thought of cycling up it … PSYCH!

About half a mile from the start there is a small track …. (in my head) Get to that before you even think about stopping! Got there, rode past it. About another half mile, another track, you must get there then you can stop.

As I got closer the lazy arse in me said STOP, BUT the .. if you don’t carry on there is no way you will do TDY Sportive, in me said … get your fat arse up that road you lazy fat cow.

…and self loathing wins the day! …… I’m happy to say

I didn’t stop, next lamp post, go, next lamp post, go. Other than at the junctions, I didn’t stop until about the 9 mile mark, right next to the water tower, which for me is a great feat.

And it’s thanks to you, my cycling friends … pick a lamp post, cycle to it, then another, then another ….. and before you know it you are at the top.

My head plan
I should have done the whole of the Emley Moor Mast ride in reverse BUT I was too chicken.

I’m trying to psyco myself, why don’t I try harder? Lazy, idle, inability, fear of failure? Don’t know! Slack!

As I sit here thinking and writing about Sunday I know what the day was about. I wanted to do the route in reverse for a change because I knew it would be a challenge and one I hadn’t done before. I have done the Emley Moor route about 3 times so know I can do it, struggle but do it, BUT in reverse?

All I kept seeing in my mind was that long, long, long road all the way up to Upper Cumberworth and the right turn onto Cumberworth Lane. 5 continuous miles of climbing.

That was it, pshyc out,  that’s me done.

Not just that, Quarry Hill, Horbury Bridge! If I made the Emley Moor route and came down Middlestown then there would be the dreaded Quarry Hill. A little shit. It’s what, millimetres in length BUT it’s a hill that just doesn’t want me to climb it!

It was in my head, IF I did do Emley Mast reverse then I would be literally pushing my bike up Quarry Hill. I have pushed my bike once too often, NO MORE pushing. BUT no more pushing meant wimping out of a bigger and better ride. Fat arse!!!!!

Finding the Boys
I stopped at 17.9 mile to see how far I had done and was so disappointed in myself for not even having 20 miles in. Seppe and Dennis had gone off to do a potter on their own and Jay was off doing 60 on his first ride with Calder Clarion CC.

I rang Seppe and Big D (Dennis) to see where they were as I knew I needed to get at least 30 miles in before I allowed myself home so thought I would seek them out.

They were over near Warmfield heading towards the canal and up through Eastmoor. I thought I would do a loop and try to meet up with them which I didn’t do until I got to the coffee to stop at Big D’s. I was just in time for my bike to be sprayed down from the 2 miles of mud I had cycled through trying to find them.

Moral of the story
Don’t be a lazy arse. Don’t talk to yourself. Just decide where you are going and GO!

Had I done Emley in reverse, I could be sat here now patting myself on the back saying ok you pushed up Quarry Hill BUT you did it.
It wouldn’t have taken me 3 hours to de gunk my bike.
And I wouldn’t be sat here now pissed off with myself.

No one to blame but lazy, glutinous me!

Ass, bike, pedal, go … Ass, bike, pedal, go … Ass, bike, pedal, go

Thank you for reading my blurb and if you like it please if you can see the like star lower down, give it a click please or please feel free to leave a comment.

Cycle safe and wear your helmet
Jo x

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